I feel kinda angry and very sad that my friend has found out her baby's heart stopped beating. It brings up so many of my own feelings and memories about my own losses. I would have loved nothing more than to have a son to raise on this earth. I am beyond blessed to have my three girls here with me. But still that void is awful when you know you should have these other children to raise up.
I get so angry knowing millions of babies are murdered and disposed of like garbage. All for choice. What about human rights?! And then we have the bashers of the Duggars who posted a very tasteful picture of their stillborn baby girl's hand. Mrs. Duggar read a very special message to her daughter.
I got to say I have never been more proud to have shared an experience like this. This woman is proud of her daughter. The whole family is. And they realize the benefit of celebrating her life, even though it was so short. http://duggarfamily.com/
Back to my friend. This chick is amazing. I have never had the pleasure of meeting her in real life but she is so strong and passionate. She is waiting for her body to naturally birth her tiny stillborn child. She will honor this baby. Bury this baby. And forever celebrate this life. Just like she has done in the past, just as I have done, just as Mrs. Duggar has done, and so many other amazing angle moms I have met online.
I know my friend is hurting. I know she is mad. I know she said that prayers don't work. But I am praying for her. Will you please pray for her too? And for her family? Thank you.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Not sure what to think of this blog site
I came across this site when I was trying to find the origin of a picture someone posted of a supposed aborted baby. The baby didnt' look aborted to me becuase there were no signs of trauma. Anyway, I came across this site with some horrific pictures comparing pictures of mass murders throughout history. I tried to add this to follow later and read more on it since there was talk on the blog regarding the bible, etc.
http://www.mosescats.com/watchmen.htm
http://www.mosescats.com/watchmen.htm
Monday, August 8, 2011
Things that make me go hhhhmmmm...
Dealing with panic disorder and agoraphobia the past few months has kind of put a new spin on things in my life. I already was homeschooling my eldest daughter through a cyber school. That was stressful enough. Now I will have two officially in school. Our middle daughter with ODD and some learning delays. I am feeling quite nervous. Prayers are greatly appreciated.
And what is up with me getting this panic disorder? I used to think people were nuts if they couldn't control anxiety on their own. I had learned to do it...so why can't everyone. Oh boy...arrogant thinking! I definitely need more support from my DH and some help would be nice. I appreciate his good work ethics but this parenting thing is really hard work. Running kids to different activities through the weeks is draining along with homeschooling, the never ending household tasks, etc. Not too mention our fur babies definitely add to my work load. I also have hardly any allowance to go anywhere. It is upsetting to DH if I go to my mom's more than twice a week. I have come so far in my recovery on this. To be able to go anywhere is special after experiencing not being able to do so. The panic attacks were coming back. I am now upped on the zoloft to 75mg. After three days on the higher dose I noticed a difference...a good difference. Today I felt better than I have in a few weeks. The doctor I seen the other night wants me to keep a journal of my daily symptoms. She said the mouth sores, inflammation in my ribs/breastbone, etc was a flare. I made the call to my insurance about starting counseling. Now to get that ball rolling. Nervous but also optomistic about it.
Speaking of fur babies. Last Tuesday evening when leaving the farmers market I hit a little black kitten. It was horrifying. I didn't even see her until it was too late. I hit my breaks but we had impact. I had to turn around and drive back around to get to her. I watched in horror as this tiny kitten lay in the middle of the lane, head up and looking around. Cars and trucks just kept driving right over her. Thank God noone else hit her. I had our swimming gear in the van, so I quickly grabbed a beach towel. I ran up to her, looked around to make sure I seen no blood or organs. I gently picked her up and cradled her tiny frame in the towel. I just cried and cried. I begged her for forgiveness. She just looked up at me. No movement. Fleas jumping off her. My Mom held her the ride home. She felt the kitten moving it's head. I didn't think she was going to make it. FFWD to now...she is getting more vibraint every day. We all adore her. I hit her along her spine. She has extra toes. She was very thin and you can see she is gaining. She eats all the time and poops just as much, lol. What a precious little creature.
I celebrate the fact DH and I were able to spend a solid hour alone late Saturday night :) However, the phone rang with Lilly crying on the other end that she wanted her momma. I couldn't stand her heartbreaking cries. So off i drove to pick her up. As I went to enter my van my foot hit something metal. I got a good look and seen it was a metal hanger, opened up and bent. I can only imagine that someone had been trying to break into our van. Or perhaps they threw it next to the van to hide it because they were trying to get into someone else's vehicle? Who knows. People around here drive me nuts. I know I am never going to find a perfect area to live in...but man some people :/
These are the things that make me go hhhmmmmm of late :)
And what is up with me getting this panic disorder? I used to think people were nuts if they couldn't control anxiety on their own. I had learned to do it...so why can't everyone. Oh boy...arrogant thinking! I definitely need more support from my DH and some help would be nice. I appreciate his good work ethics but this parenting thing is really hard work. Running kids to different activities through the weeks is draining along with homeschooling, the never ending household tasks, etc. Not too mention our fur babies definitely add to my work load. I also have hardly any allowance to go anywhere. It is upsetting to DH if I go to my mom's more than twice a week. I have come so far in my recovery on this. To be able to go anywhere is special after experiencing not being able to do so. The panic attacks were coming back. I am now upped on the zoloft to 75mg. After three days on the higher dose I noticed a difference...a good difference. Today I felt better than I have in a few weeks. The doctor I seen the other night wants me to keep a journal of my daily symptoms. She said the mouth sores, inflammation in my ribs/breastbone, etc was a flare. I made the call to my insurance about starting counseling. Now to get that ball rolling. Nervous but also optomistic about it.
Speaking of fur babies. Last Tuesday evening when leaving the farmers market I hit a little black kitten. It was horrifying. I didn't even see her until it was too late. I hit my breaks but we had impact. I had to turn around and drive back around to get to her. I watched in horror as this tiny kitten lay in the middle of the lane, head up and looking around. Cars and trucks just kept driving right over her. Thank God noone else hit her. I had our swimming gear in the van, so I quickly grabbed a beach towel. I ran up to her, looked around to make sure I seen no blood or organs. I gently picked her up and cradled her tiny frame in the towel. I just cried and cried. I begged her for forgiveness. She just looked up at me. No movement. Fleas jumping off her. My Mom held her the ride home. She felt the kitten moving it's head. I didn't think she was going to make it. FFWD to now...she is getting more vibraint every day. We all adore her. I hit her along her spine. She has extra toes. She was very thin and you can see she is gaining. She eats all the time and poops just as much, lol. What a precious little creature.
I celebrate the fact DH and I were able to spend a solid hour alone late Saturday night :) However, the phone rang with Lilly crying on the other end that she wanted her momma. I couldn't stand her heartbreaking cries. So off i drove to pick her up. As I went to enter my van my foot hit something metal. I got a good look and seen it was a metal hanger, opened up and bent. I can only imagine that someone had been trying to break into our van. Or perhaps they threw it next to the van to hide it because they were trying to get into someone else's vehicle? Who knows. People around here drive me nuts. I know I am never going to find a perfect area to live in...but man some people :/
These are the things that make me go hhhmmmmm of late :)
Monday, August 1, 2011
First time blogging
This is my first time blogging. Not even sure what to do, lol. I have been curious about blogging for awhile. It might be more fullfilling to me than status updates on FB. I shall see :) I want to see if this posts on my blog so I know I am doing this right. Please be patient with me ;-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)